There are several books available for helping to bring back a wayward spouse, and many of them have some very good suggestions.

It's hard to decide what approach is best. And, just as it takes a long time to get into marital problems, it may take awhile to get out of them. Also, is not always about us and our problems. Sometimes it is our spouse. But, nobody succeeds by focusing on landing the blame. And, yet we should not be quick to assume that. In fact the danger of doing that is that we may drive our spouse away with blame while overlooking the things we need to see and do to help bring about reconcileation or free our spouses' hearts to return to us. I say "We", but sadly, my marriage ended a few years ago, and part of my motive in building this web site is to help others not have to go through what our family suffered.